Dye Hard All Topic

* This Woe Room and it's resulting sorrow are property of the Dye Hard Board and it's readers. Please do not re-post this anywhere else, as the information is embarrassing.

-Wth the recent concerns about Auburn's defensive line recruiting, we will concentrate on the position in this weeks installment.

Nero Plays the Fiddle While the Plains Burn

- 4-star Defensive Tackle Tyler Nero (Atmore, AL Escambia) has been long thought to be an in-state battle. While the athletic defensive lineman will be playing his college football in Alabama, I expect it to be in the west side of the state. Look for Nero to commit to the Tide when his time comes. Nero may have said "Coach Craig from FSU told me that Auburn will be getting the death penalty soon for giving Greg Robinson his own Apple store."

Not Board Percentage : 2%

Kenny Bigelow, Male Gigolo

- 2013 Defensive Tackle Kenny Bigelow (Bear, DE Red Lion Christian) is the former teammate of current Auburn DT Angelo Blackson . This has led many to believe that the potential 5-star is all but a lock to join his former running mate on the plains. Auburn fans shouldn't get their hopes up, however, as Bigelow has his eyes set on joining his pre-pubescent teammate David SIlls on the west coast.

Not Board Percentage: See Picture Below

Old Man Jenkins

-Middle-aged looking Defensive End Jordan Jenkins (Hamilton, GA Harris County) recently said in an interview that he still has interest in Auburn. This is now believed to simply be an early sign of oncoming dementia for the athletic defensive lineman. On an unrelated note, his mustache continues to be Carl Winslowian in nature.

Not Board Percentage: Eh, what's the point?

Bama Gets the Shanks

-4-star Defensive Tackle Justin Shanks (Prattville, AL Prattville) is from Prattville....Rol...wait.

*Woe Room Special Report*

- Quite a bit has been made of odds maker Danny Sheridan's recent accusations that the NCAA has fingered a bag man in the scandal involving Heisman Trophy winner Cameron Newton . We hear on the Dye Hard believe that we have discovered the identity of said bag man. Expect former Ole Miss Defensive lineman Jerrell Powe to come forward with an admission that he handled the monetary exchange between Cam Newton and Auburn coach Trooper Taylor. When pressed for an interview recently, Powe ran from the room, weeping and screaming " I done it for the kids! I done it for them kids!"

Not Board Percentage: 70%...

*** Quick Hitters

- Auburn plans to fill it's defensive line slots with diamonds in the rough these diamonds (read: long snappers) have really been flying around out there ,and are scary close to committing.

- The coaches are beginning to believe that they may struggle to make it close to 25 fooled children in this class.

- With the recent firing of Butch Davis at UNC, look for several Auburn coaches to be in the running for positions at the school. UNC is believed to have said, "The coaches at Auburn seem to practice our style of recruiting, and seem to do it much better than the previous staff."

* Stay tuned to AUC and the Dye Hard for future Woe Rooms and all of your Auburn recruiting needs.