Dye Hard All Topic

* This Woe Room and it's resulting sorrow are property of the Dye Hard Board and its readers. Please do not re-post this anywhere else, as the information is embarrassing.

* In this week’s installment we will take a look at the Tiger's defensive recruiting, as well as the Dan Sheridan fiasco.

From Reeling in the Big Fish to just Reeling

- Over the past two recruiting classes, the Auburn coaches have shown an ability to convince top prospects to spend 4 years on the plains (or 10-15 in Atmore). The Tide seems to be turning on Gene Chizik and staff, however, especially on the defensive side of the ball. With Geno Smith , Justin Shanks , and Travis Blanks already off the board, look for the Tigers to turn their attention to other "athletes" to fill what Ted Roof has often referred to as a "defense".

The Roof, the Roof, the Roof....Finally Did Something!

-Much maligned defensive coordinator Ted Roof has caught his fair share of criticism over the past two years for such things as allowing Arkansas State to throw for 323 yards (Go Wolves), and sounding Rachel Ray's long-lost creepy uncle. The former Duke program destroyer managed to redeem himself this past week, however, with his securing 2013 LB Trey Johnson's commitment. Way to go, Roof, now teach Neiko Thorpe what a back-pedal looks like.

A Cyrus from Maryland, This Should End Well

- 4-star DB Cyrus Jones ( Baltimore, MD Gilmore) has narrowed his college choices down to two schools in Alabama. Both Jones' location and given name give rise to Daniel Cobb-ish memories for Auburn fans. We here at the Dye Hard would like to tell you that this round of The Virus will end differently, but we can’t. Expect Jones to continue Bama’s pipeline of African-American football players named Cyrus, who live in Maryland and choose between to state schools from Alabama.
Not Board Percentage: Koujondidimungo

It’s in the Bag, Man
- Odds-maker and resident soothsayer Danny Sheridan recently made an ass of himself on national radio. The formerly-mustachioed and soon to be formerly USA Today employed “analyst” let it be known to every football fan across the nation that he had no knowledge of an actual bagman, or anything of the sort. It is truly unfortunate that Sheridan did not read the Woe Room special report on said bagman. All that can be said for Sheridan going forward is that there’s a 50% percent chance that there’s a 100% chance that he and Jeff Lee had the same 5th grade math teacher.
Not Board Percentage See Picture Below

***Quickies***
- Long snappers. #winning

- With recruiting struggling the way it is, look for the Auburn coaches to turn their attention to acquiring more Alabama transfers. Trooper Taylor is leaving voicemails with some of the Tide’s top scout teamers.

-No, that’s all.

* Stay tuned to AUC and the Dye Hard for future Woe Rooms and all of your Auburn recruiting needs.