The Bodda Getta

A guy goes into a bar and asks the bartender if he wants to hear a good Alabama joke.

The bartender says, "Before you tell it, you should know that I am 6-2 and weigh 225 and I'm from Alabama. See that guy at the end of the bar? He's 6-4 and weighs 250 and he's from Alabama, too. And see the guy at the other end of the bar? He's 6-6 and weighs 280 and he's from Alabama,too! Now, do you still want to tell your Alabama joke?"

The guy says, "Nah."

To which the bartender smiles and says, "What's the matter? Are ya chicken?"

The guy says, "Nah. I just don't want to have to explain it three times."

This one is a doozy:

A tourist walked into a Tuscaloosa antique shop. After looking around for a while, he noticed a very life-like bronze statue of a rat. It had no price tag, but it was so striking that he decided to buy it anyway. He took it to the owner and said: 'How much is this bronze rat?' The owner replied: 'It's $12 for the rat, and $100 for the story.' The tourist gave the owner $12 and said: 'I'll just take the rat, you can keep the story.' As he walked off down the street, he noticed that a few real rats had crawled out of the sewers and begun following him. This was a little disconcerting, so he started to walk a little faster, but within a couple of blocks the swarm of rats had grown to hundreds. He increased his speed & ran on towards the Black Warrior River, and as he ran, he looked behind him and saw the rats now numbered in their thousands, and they were running faster & faster. By now very concerned, he ran down to the river's edge and threw the bronze rat far out into the water, and amazingly, the thousands of real rats jumped into the water after it and were drowned. The man walked back to the shop owner, who said: 'Ah, you've come back for the story then?' 'No,' said the tourist, 'I came back to see if you've got a bronze Bama fan, and anything from Florida!'

An Alabama, Tennessee and Auburn student travel to Mexico for spring break. While there, they get in trouble with the authorities and are sentenced to death by electric chair. The Auburn student is first, and after he's strapped into the chair, the warden asks if he has any last words. He replies simply: "War Eagle". The executioner pulls the switch, and nothing happens. The warden says, "According to Mexican law, if you survive the electric chair, you're free to go - good luck to you" and the Auburn student leaves.

The Tennessee student is strapped in, asked for last words, and he replies: "Go Vols" - The switch is pulled, and nothing happens - he too, is allowed to go free.

The Alabama student is strapped in, asked for last words, and he says: "Only thing I've got to say is - this thing is never going to work if you don't plug it in."