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(Gotta have a sense of humor and not be easily offended to participate in this.) Since not much is happening right now until signing day/A-Day/season opener, I thought I'd get some input from the board. We've all heard sayings like "Busier than a peg-legged man in a brush fire", "Busier than a one-armed paper hanger", and "Working like a one-legged man in a butt-kickin' contest", but I need some new material, so help me out by posting your best one-liners. Here are some of my personal favorites.
"Sweatin' like a gerbil in a gay bar." (Not that there's anything wrong with that.)
"Sweatin' like a bammer in a spelling bee."
"Sweatin' like Saban taking a lie detector test."
"Sweatin' like a priest at a cub scout meeting." (There's definitely something wrong with that. Lord, I apologize...)
"Madder than Saban when Foot Locker ran out of size 4-1/2 platform sneakers."
"Grinnin' like a three-handed homo in a pecker tree." (Not that there's anything wrong with that.)
What about it, AU Family, who got jokes?
This post has been edited 2 times, most recently by Silverback 18 months ago
Thread.... dying.... (gasp).... no one.... got.... (gasp)....jokes....
"doing justly, loving mercy, and walking humbly with my god"
-George Petrie (1945)
In response to someone telling me "you're just not right": If being me is wrong I don't wanna be right.
That boy's about as sharp as a sack of wet mice.
Let's make like a mule trailer and haul ass. (one of my own again)
They say money can't buy happiness, but all I want is the chance to try.
I'm so broke I can't even pay attention.
I would have asked God for a new car but I know he doesn't work that way, so I stole a car and asked for forgiveness.
Never argue with an idiot; he'll drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.
Watching UFC: He went down faster than a $2 whore on rent day!
I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my Grandfather did, not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car....
Eff the effing effers!!! (cleaned up for the faint of heart)
The other day I was wondering why a frisbee appears to get larger the closer it gets... and then it hit me....
"Alabama fans love Alabama football, Auburn fans love Auburn" -- Patrick Fain Dye
One of my favorites is "Even a bling hog can find an acorn."
Now that's a keeper!
"Townes used to say that there's only two kinds of music: the blues and zippity-doo-dah, and this ain't zippity-doo-dah." -Steve Earle
Life Partners Forever_________ nic loves fineScum
Dude, that is funny! I will use the "mule trailer" today.
If I tell you a chicken dips snuff, look under its wing for a pouch
If I tell you a goat can pull a train, hook him up
Thanks "Silverback" I needed the laugh. Now that's funny.
Fearless And True
ON TO VICTORY - STRIKE UP THE BAND
AU Electrical Engineering 87'
Scottish by Blood, Southerner by Birth, War Eagle by Choice
The wheels on the bus go 'round and 'round.
Only 2 things I am afraid of, women and the police. Gator McClusky
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